Monday, May. 17, 2004 - 11:17 a.m.
I had kind of an interesting weekend with many ups and downs. Mainly due to my own fluctuating mood swings.
Thursday I left work early to go to the dentist where I spent an hour waiting to have my teeth cleaned. I have to go back next week to get some “bonding” work redone because apparently it’s wearing away. The bonding stuff doesn’t use the drill so I’m cool with that. (At least I think it doesn’t use the drill. Cross your fingers!)
I believe I played Sims pretty much all night Thursday until bedtime around 10:30. (I no longer have the marathon past midnight runs I’m glad to report.)
Friday morning I got up around 8 to give Meow her shot and fill up her food bowl and to make some kick ass raspberry chocolate flavored coffee from Starbucks (via Schwinn Pixie). Played some Sims, made up a Caftan Night schedule for our shared evening with misterjohn and actually cleaned Crescentwood like I vowed I would. Thomas helped out immensely with the sweeping and dusting, but I still bitched and moaned about the litter box detail as I always do.
Chores seem so overwhelming lately. I find myself very resentful for having to do things I’ve done for years now without really blinking. (Well, okay, I have bitched about the litter box before, but usually good naturedly. I know Tommy is allergic to cats and therefore cleaning out the litter box would mean he’d break out in hives, but, again, the *overwhelming* thing is just so draining!)
Around 4 p.m. we got online to talk to John but he was a no show until later that evening when he got home around 10:30 or so certainly in no mood to caftan. So we rescheduled for the night after.
Around this time it started to rain and that made things nice and cozy.
Before I made dinner, I put up all the new stuff in my bathroom and it is no longer my “pristine white” bathroom, let me tell you. A warm orange/peach glow suffuses the room now. Everything matches to perfection and looks really good in there. Thomas actually got jealous when he saw my new bathroom. I have to admit that shower curtain is the shiznit.
I’ve noticed that when we first moved in, we wanted all neutral, light colors around us. Everything had to be a clean canvas. Pristine. I’m thinking that’s because of all the soot and destruction of Sinwood, we just wanted the opposite of that. Soothing magnolia walls. Pristine white bathrooms with clear dotted Swiss shower curtains. Clean.
Now it appears we’re hungering for color. We’re looking around these days and wishing for a bit more vibrancy. That’s pleasing me.
Anyway, back to Friday night.
I made Hamburger Helper for dinner and Tommy and I watched the Pilot episode of X-Files from Season One which was great – as usual. We did have a lot of fun. We vowed to watch this season in chronological order, alien conspiracies, government plots and all. (There are still episodes of Season 2 I haven’t watched and I’ve owned the disks for about 3 years.)
I went to bed around 11:30 or so, very full of Hamburger Helper, and happily buzzing thanks to Scully, Mulder and some Cook’s champagne.
Saturday was the day of discontent. I didn’t have to clean because it was all done the day before, so I got up and made coffee and went to go make the schedule for Caftan Night and that *overwhelming* feeling hit me again so I put it off until nearly one p.m. and then I got an email from Ken stating that he didn’t want to be “sucked in” and so he would not be checking email at Collinwood for the schedule and he needed it in his work inbox by 2 p.m. the latest.
Well, it was ten of 2 his time and I said screw it and didn’t make a schedule. If he couldn’t make the effort to just check and print out one email, I wasn’t going to the effort of rushing to get the damn thing done in the first place. Blah.
I had to call him at home and leave a message with Albert about what time to start and what caftan to wear. I had to leave the exact same message on his cell phone too for some inexplicable reason.
Saturday night was the first bath with the new bathroom stuff. It was lovely. I soaked in lavender/eucalyptus/spearmint bubbles, read the second Harry Potter book, sipped champagne and enjoyed. It was too damn light out for candles though, the only slight problem. Damn Daylight Savings Time anyway!
Clad in my jewel tone caftan, I swirled into the living room to watch Ab Fab and then it was time to dance to Limbo and call Ken while Thomas performed some of that old Black Magic in his Chamber.
So I lit candles and incense and danced and then called Ken only to discover that Albert had surprised him with supper out on the front porch and therefore they hadn’t even watched Ab Fab yet. Could I call back in 45 minutes?
I decided that, no, I couldn’t. If he couldn’t be bothered to check email at home, I couldn’t be bothered to wait around 45 minutes to call back.
I hung up and major discontent kicked in. I felt like I was trapped in my Study with nothing to do. I couldn’t watch a movie because Tom needed silence in that area of the house. I couldn’t talk to Ken because Albert (to my discontent mind) deliberately screwed up the timing of the evening with that stupid dinner on the porch when he knew damn well the start time because I told it to him on the phone earlier in the afternoon.
I called my friend in Syracuse, but she wasn’t home. So I sat in the dark with music down low and candles all around me and just felt so utterly disconnected and petty that I began to cry.
At 9 p.m. I blew out all the candles in my room and made pizza and then ended up eating in the bedroom while reading Harry Potter. Tom checked in around 9:30 to ask me if I wanted to watch Clue, but I declined and poured out my heart to him about how overwhelmed and discontent I felt. Poor thing.
Venting must have been good for me, because I suddenly discovered that it was actually quite pleasant to be reading Harry Potter in bed on a Saturday night.
Sunday I got up relatively early to play Sims for a couple of hours and then read the fourth Harry Potter with all the cats around me for most of the afternoon until around 7 when I played more Sims and then decided that since the cats needed more food, I ought to do the weekly grocery shopping at Schminn Sixie.
So I got there around 7:45 and was home by 8:45 with a ton of food, including two bags for the cats. (Who were very grateful.)
At 9 Tom and I settled down to watch “Lost in Translation” which was a pretty excellent and funny film. It’s one that I could watch pretty much anytime.
So the weekend ended on a high note and I’m still pretty happy this morning.
Now if I could just stop fretting over petty bullshit and stop feeling overwhelmed – life would be peachy!
